37 ways to celebrate marriage & love your spouse online

marriage, affair-proof your marriage, Christians online, strong marriage, Facebook

By Toni Birdsong
Jesus said, “A man planted a vineyard and set a hedge around it.” ~ Mark 12:1

We live on a broken planet; in a culture increasingly underwhelmed by vows, divorce and extramarital affairs. But infidelity is anything but casual. It’s real. It destroys lives on earth and fractures eternity.

As Christians living in a digital world we need to get intentional about honoring the covenant of marriage—for ourselves—and for a mislead world looking on. A Christ-centered marriage puts a “no trespassing” sign in the enemy’s face and tells everyone around you that values such as “marriage, fidelity, honor, respect, family, faith, and love” will never go out of fashion in your home.

When that message is celebrated on the very public stage of social networks—where hundreds, even thousands, look on—your marriage becomes a very real and very powerful expression of God’s Love for the world. In fact, your marriage, lived out faithfully online, can become a life-altering encounter to people who may never step foot in a church.

Here are 37 ways to honor your spouse & protect marriage in the online space:

  1. Make your marriage your #1 priority in your home.
  2. Start and end your day with prayer—together.
  3. Go dark (get offline!) on the weekends and in the evenings to honor face-to-face time with your spouse and family.
  4. Lift one another up in public by posting affirmations, encouragements, and thank you notes on your spouse’s Facebook (FB) wall.
  5. Digitally cheer on one another’s goals and accomplishments.
  6. Take a picture of flowers, or other cool things you see throughout your day and send them your sweetheart’s phone or post them on their FB wall.
  7. Post a music video of your favorite love song and tell your spouse why it reminds you of them.
  8. Ask your FB friends what song you should dance to with your spouse on date night (you’ll be amazed at the interaction you get!)
  9. Make a list of 10 things you love about your spouse or your relationship and post it on your spouse’s FB wall or your own (make sure you tag your spouse so they don’t miss your post)!
  10. Ask your spouse out on a date on his/her FB wall and post link to the restaurant’s menu to get them excited about the night.
  11. Post a picture of one of your children and tell your spouse what you love about that child and how grateful you are for your family.
  12. If you are out shopping for a gift for your spouse, take a photo of the item choices and share a “this one” or “that one” photo on their FB wall. Have them (and their friends) choose which one you should bring home.
  13. Go to the park, set up a picnic, take a video or photo and post it on their FB wall (or email or text) asking them to join you.
  14. Post in your status update when you decide to “take off early to go take my spouse somewhere special” or “to spend time with my family.”
  15. If you have extra courage: Write a love letter as if you were just falling in love with the person. Post it in a Facebook Notes and put it on your wall. Tag your spouse.
  16. Post a condensed version of how you met your spouse and ask friends to post how they met their spouse.
  17. Post “definitions” of words in your status update. Define loyalty, love, faithfulness, passion, joy, agape . . . in God’s words. Tag your spouse.
  18. Write “I Love You, XXX” in unique places such as the bathroom mirror, in the snow, or on your arm. Take a photo and post it on their wall.
  19. Once a month write a “Top 5 Reasons Why” list to your spouse. Why I Love You, Why I Thank God for You, What I Miss About You, What I Appreciate the Most About You. Post it on their page briefly or in a Facebook Note to them.
  20. Send romantic texts every day. Can’t think of any? Try these out.
  21. Ask your FB friends for their favorite recipes and then cook it for your spouse. Take a photo of the dish and post it later thanking everyone for helping make your date night special.
  22. At least 1x a week, post this on your spouse’s wall: “In case you didn’t know . . . . (fill in the blank).”
  23. Buy your sweetheart his or her domain name. See if his/her name is available at whois.net.
  24. Make a customized playlist on iTunes and give it to your sweetheart.
  25. Post scriptures from the bible’s Song of Solomon (don’t get carried away . . . there is such a thing as sharing Too Much Information).
  26. Make a virtual commitment to your spouse. Fill out this certificate online that you can print out and keep.
  27. Post romantic, funny, inspiring messages on your loved one’s page. If you aren’t good with words, try this site.
  28. Set up a blogger website dedicated just to your family. Celebrate every week or month with posting milestones, love notes, prayers for one another, and fun photos. Setting up a blogger account takes about 5 minutes.
  29. Publically pray for your spouse by posting a prayer on their Facebook wall. Use their name repeatedly in the prayer.
  30. Write a poem. Then use Google Translator to translate a poem into either French or Italian, or any romantic language you choose.
  31. Make “I love you” posters for your kids to hold, take their picture, and post it on your spouse’s wall. Or, have the kids or a friend take a photo of you doing the same.
  32. Send your spouse a romantic, fun e-card to brighten his or her day. Free e-card resources: Blue Mountain or Hallmark.
  33. Post a free coupon for dinner, dancing, breakfast in bed, a long romantic walk by the lake, a short trip to the beach, or just some unplugged time together. Print free coupons.
  34. Ask your spouse to go on a special date with you. Can’t think of one? Check out these ideas.
  35. Simply write “I Love You,” on their Facebook wall now and then.
  36. Read this excellent article on how to put a spiritual hedge around your marriage. Share it with your spouse and couples you know.
  37. Post this link on your sweetheart’s wall. Tell him or her you plan to make the 50 years+ photo album someday.

How do you and your spouse deal effectively with living a digital life? Are there challenges?

Post/tweet this today:
The world will know the love of Christ by the way you love your spouse. #LiveSticky #marriage


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  • Tim Hutchings

    Why on earth would you call this an “affair”? What do your suggestions have in common with an affair, and why should we celebrate that idea?? So confused…

  • Anonymous

    @82c5bcaa55ce2f01ec43e932d94cf96d:disqus sorry you are confused. If you take the time to read the first line of the post, you will have ample clarity, I hope. :)

  • Anonymous

    Ya know what @82c5bcaa55ce2f01ec43e932d94cf96d:disqus , you are right. The headline wasn’t meant to confuse, but to make people think about the topic deeper. Perhaps the risk wasn’t worth it for the majority of those who read and love this blog. Thank you for your wisdom on this. 

  • @tim_hutchings

    The first line of the post says that affairs are awful and everyone is sick of them and they ruin everything. That doesn’t explain why I should want to have one with my spouse, which was your original post title. 

    I’m sure you meant something like… get some excitement and unpredictability back in your marriage? Maybe? Not sure. If so, then perhaps dating would have been a better analogy? 
    I’m fairly positive adulterers don’t talk about their affairs on Facebook walls, anyway! 

    Thanks for changing the title – the suggestions look quite fun :-)

  • Anonymous

    @82c5bcaa55ce2f01ec43e932d94cf96d:disqus … I’m listening and LOVE the discussion. We are the body not “the lone limb.” We need each other. I appreciate you. :) I hope you like the post & can now recommend it to others. We MUST protect marriage and bringing that message to the online space is critical to the Kingdom. 

  • http://www.tonyjalicea.com Tony Alicea

    I’m not married but this is a fantastic list, Toni. I really love the Top 5 Reasons Why list suggestion. That’s really cool. Thank you for blazing the digital trail to keep our marriages safe and healthy!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=671101964 Jennifer Adams Klein

    Something that came to mind after I read this was about who we Friend or Follow… there’s such a casualness on FB or Twitter–I’ve been tempted to add/follow old flames with the thought, “hey that was old times. Over and done with. Besides its just Facebook.” But I felt convicted about that later and realized that there is something healthy and even holy about honoring my marriage by keeping the past in the past. Old flames can suddenly spark again unexpectedly…there was chemistry once and there’s a really good chance its still there deep down…people don’t really change for the most part. Anyway, I just thought I’d share that. I do have one exception–an old boyfriend of mine is in the ministry and my husband and I follow him for prayer updates. But if that ever even slightly got emotional for me I’d know I had to high tail it outta that connection…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=671101964 Jennifer Adams Klein

    P.S. Fun suggestions!!!

  • http://LiveIntentionally.org Paul Steinbrueck

    Wow, lots of great ideas here, Toni!  I’m definitely using a bunch of these!

  • Anonymous

    Good stuff Jen! Really great to think about. We can never be casual with old flames. The bible says to “flee” from temptation not to tap dance around it. Discernment and context is critical — we can’t be a bundle of fear. To engage the way you are talking about sounds safe. I am thrilled to reconnect with some people in my past, yes males, who are ON FIRE for Christ. I am always sure to ask them immediately if I can connect with their wives. Then I make sure to connect on their walls and share our common bond in Christ. 

    It’s a whole new world out there, huh? Scary in some ways but awesome when you look at it from an outreach point of view. The Holy Spirit is CRITICAL. 

  • Anonymous

    Ok – I’ll be connecting with your wife to make sure you are being a digital Romeo Paul!!! 

  • Anonymous

    Tony – you can always use a *few* of these (minus the romance) for the women in your life: mom, sister, aunt, sweetheart. We’ve got your back, brother! :)

  • http://vesselproject.com Keiki Hendrix

    Love this… what a great list of ways… might have to try some of these.

  • Anonymous

    Hey @keikihendrix:disqus — let us know what you try and how it goes!!!

  • mary

    This is great … so creative! Many thanks!

  • Anonymous

    Glad you decided to modify the title. I feel much better about tweeting it now.
    My man rocks & I want all the world to know.
    These are great!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kayla-Reuter/612836872 Kayla Reuter

    I really enjoyed this article. My husband is returning from Afghanistan next month. Re-entry is going to be tough but I am so excited! I will definitely be performing some of these tips! I actually just wrote an article about how social media has helped me during his deployment time – http://bit.ly/jDIZqp Great article!

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  • ian phillips

    wow this site is just great – http://www.sexy-texts.com/