10 ways to confront with integrity and respect

Defender of the Faith: quick to listen - slow to speak - slow to anger

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.  James 1:19 – 23, NIV

By Tami Heim

Every generation experiences debate and conflict when it comes to unpacking the intricacies of faith. As new Internet platforms emerge, believers garner easy access to delivery systems that give voice to their religious convictions and biblical interpretations. This generation’s public square is dynamic, emotional, and digitally documented for the whole world to observe, search, and reference.

The online network stream exposes all sorts of faith-based controversies.  When you see them surface listen carefully, be slow to engage, and don’t get worked up or angry. Instead hold fast to the truth and then you won’t be overwhelmed by the tensions. It’s imperative you not let the beauty and simplicity of the Gospel be convoluted and lost in a vortex of theological argument.

Remain centered on the pure and holy intention of God’s vision,

Christ’s mission,

and the charge of the great commission.

In Paul’s letter to the Galatians,  Paul confronts Peter and leads him back to the central truth of the Gospel. There’s much to study from Paul’s example and how it applies to any online contender and champion of the faith.

  • How do you confront someone with integrity and respect?
  • How do you do it in a manner that honors God?

1.  Take personal inventory. Go deep and check your motives. Know what’s compelling you to publicly respond or react to what you’ve observed. Be certain this is God’s assignment for you. Make it your goal to help, not humiliate.

2.  Evaluate the impact. Ensure the issue you are about to confront is relevant. Weigh its value. If it’s left unaddressed, would it impact the eternal outcome of another human being? Seek wisdom and discernment about the intended and unintended consequences.

3.  Be specific. Isolate the point of contention. Try to be as direct  and clear as possible. Clarity brings alignment and closure quickly.

4.  Remember the golden rule. Think about how you would prefer someone to confront you. Remain calm and communicate concerns with respect. The right tone and proper intensity go a long way  to help someone receive what you have to say.

5.  Keep it real. Don’t heap unrealistic standards, expectations or legalism on others. Be factual, not judgemental.

6.  Be creative. Offer solutions or conclusions that correct and lead to greater harmony. Take a stand and work towards a positive outcome.

7.  Address the problem, not the person. Critique the problem and believe the best about the person.

8.  Consider timing.  Always pray first. Ask for the wisdom to know if an issue requires immediate attention or would be better handled at a later date.

9.  Bring grace. Look in the mirror often and don’t forget what you’ve seen, where you’ve been, and whose you are by grace. Be ready to give freely what you’ve been given. Be prepared to give people the room they need to turn around.

10. Build bridges. Encourage and affirm what’s good as much as possible. Strive to replace conflict with a bridge of reconciliation. Be different-than-expected. Deliver the truth in love.

  • Have you ever felt the urge to confront anyone online?
  • What did you do?
  • What was the outcome?

Post / Tweet this:

Be straightforward about the truth of the Gospel. Love it. Live it. Defend it. #always #LiveSticky


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  • http://twitter.com/Kmac4him Kimberly McCarthy

    Yes I have and yes I have had successes and failures and it is because of my position.  If I am in a position of defending my cause, my thought, my way, my “say so” then I fail.  If I am positioned – Holy Aligned with God, in a perfect Kingdom Alignment with Him, His Truth and His Love, I succeed not for me, but for His Kingdom.  Nice Words, but how in the world do I get there?! Holy Aligned and Perfect Alignment… hmmmmmmm well for me it begins with an Omnipresent Reality Check on my knees each morning, bowed before God and throughout the day taking Omnipresent Reality Checks, knowing I am in His Presence and being in AWE of the responsibility of being His servant-warrior.   My 1st step out each day as His servant-warrior is down, bowed down in reverent-humble-awe in the fullness of humility of knowing who I am and WHO He is and it is there, bowed before my AWE-GOD in complete surrender, in willessness, I ask Him for less of me and for my soul to be saturated with more of HIM.  All day long I re-check my position so I know in every divine appointment where I am. Am I being God’s? Am I called to God 1st?  Is my motive about being ALL IN with God, being found in the flow of His Kingdom purpose, or is it about supporting and defending my ministry, my occupation,  my cause, my “say so”? Hmmmmm is my 1st call to God? I guess that is the question I challenge my heart with and I do it constantly-consistently as I am engaging with others. My human condition requires me to make adjustments in my position throughout my day, realigning myself with JESUS at the center of my all, in Holy Alignment with His Kingdom
    purposes, His Truth, His Love, His Way. AWE-GOD! What a huge responsibility it is to be a servant-leader for Almighty God, it humbles me to the core of my being and simply-significantly, I am not up to the task without Jesus Christ being the all of my everything. Oh God…. Please help me! I want to serve you most and best, leading others to You and Your Kingdom for now unto forever!

  • Tami Heim

    @twitter-16391806:disqus You are an inspiration to all of us! We see your faithfulness day after day and it’s perfectly clear who you serve, what you defend, and how your heart is aligned. Thanks for being a reflection of His character and a highlighter of His glory. It’s humbling to travel this time and space with you, All IN, beloved servant-warrior. AWE-God!

  • Annemann

    Great blog…good insight….lessons to be learned!

  • http://www.stickyJesus.com Tami Heim

    Thanks  @21e0500419f8e943b08e645497bb2528:disqus  . We appreciate your encouragement and taking the time to stop by tonight! 

  • TaliaWutt

    I need to read until I get this!

  • Tami Heim

    @tallawutt I believe that is true for all of us. Another reason why reading God’s Word everyday is essentail to living and loving well! Thanks for stopping by!